As the Summer Winds Down

Orriginally posted (by ME) here: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150306028309753
on 2/14/11


I 'blogged' a bit at the begining of this wild journey, now I think it only fitting that I should blog a bit about the end. I have often heard Yellowstone called "Wonderland" and I can see why....for many reasons. The natural beauty and strangeness of the thermal features and mountains of course...but the way the lives of those of us who live here are turned topsy turvey by it as well. I left South Haven almost 5 months ago, at the age of 30 still very much a child. I was broken. I was dejected. I felt as if everything I did was wrong and I didn't deserve to be loved.

When I came here, part of me was hopefull, but part of me was terrified. Group living has never gone well for me (MCTI where everyone was as weird as me aside...and even that had its downfalls). I'm not "normal" so I become the scapegoat...if something goes wrong it must have been my fault. That hasn't happened here, and for that I am thankfull. There was another incident, where I overheard supposed friends talking about me when they thought I was asleep. They told the guy I was crushing on that I liked him. The words "never in a million years" and "weird girl" were enough to keep me up the rest of the night, mostly crying.

Then my seamstress job was ripped away and I was thrown into laundry. WITH those so called friends. Between having to face them every day and the stress of the job itself (the laundry is hot, loud, and a lot of heavy lifting), I was miserable. I was never so happy as the day I was given the job in Reservations and moved up to Mammoth. Things turned around for me then, and this became home to me.

I made new, true friends. I started taking better care of myself. My first couple months, honestly, my attendance sucked, but I've gotten that turned around. I don't let aches and pains hold me back anymore and I feel better about myself for that. I'm more confident. I finally feel like an adult.

Thats the thing about this place. It heals. It turns your life around and makes you take a long hard look at yourself. Not everyone makes it here. Two people I trained with in Reservations left very early in the season after that mirror was held to them. In fact, of our training class, only two are still here. There were eight of us. The two boys went first. They werent ready for this apparently. Next to go was one of our ladies, due to health problems. The rest of us have made it through. Three ladies left already as their contracts were up. The other, my "Yellowstone Mom", leaves next week. I'll miss them all dearly.

Another description I've heard of Yellowstone, particularly of the workforce, is that we're on the Island of Misfit Toys. Heck, here at Mammoth there is even a band by that name, the members of which I am proud to call my friends. They rock too!

We are all misfits, in our own way. All of us had our own reasons for coming here. Some will go back out into the world, some will remain here, "lifers". There's a chance I'm one of them. I have a winter contract already.

By the time I leave here on October 9th, all of my friends will have left. Most are gone already. My three BYFs (Best Yellowstone Friends), the three people that drew me out the most and helped me discover myself--Jamie, her fiance Erik, and our friend John-- have gone already. I hope to see them all again someday (possibly around December when Jamie and Erik's daughter is born!). Nati leaves on the 6th, my roommate Merry leaves on the 7th.

The end of the season is bittersweet...like saying goodbye at the end of summer camp. Happy to be leaving, sad to be seeing your friends go, not knowing if you'll see them again.

A few things I've learned about myself:

* I am stronger emotionally then I thought.

* I am beautiful--not because anyone tells me I am, not because I think I am, I just am!

* I do have attitude and can fling one line zingers off the top of my head, sometimes.

* I am no one's back up plan!

* I deserve love, just as much as anyone else.

* I am TERRIFIED of big animals. Especially those with pointy objects on their head. Although even the cow elk have scared the bejeebus out of me a few times.

* I can get my butt up at 6am and go to work 5 days a week, week after week. I'm exhausted by the time my days off come, but I CAN do it.

* I work better later than earlier....if I have to have a short shift, 10-5 is much better than 8-3!

* Moisturizing body wash and Burts Bees' Milk and Honey lotion are my friends!

* My curls can be annoying but they are not a curse. Not usually anyway. They can actually be kinda cute!

* Having long hair isn't so bad after all. I've survived the summer without a cut!

* I am not incapable of losing weight. 50lbs down and counting! TAKE THAT WORLD!

Other random factoids I've picked up:

* Bison can jump 6' straight up from standing (not from experiance! Just a random fact I heard)

* Altitude sickness can be a real ass-kicker (from experiance)

* Fingers squished in a window turn really pretty colors (from painful experiance)

* Just because the Employee Dining Room calls a food something, does not mean its what we're expecting.

* People are willing to lie, cheat, and possibly steal to get the room or camping spot that they want.

* Peope don't plan ahead. I can't count the number of times I've heard "But we drove all the way here, where are we going to stay?" Um...seems to me you should have thought about that BEFORE driving halfway across the country. Especially if you knew you needed speacial accomadations (like you have 12 kids, or you have to have electric in your camp site so that your precious Muffykins poodle doesnt overheat)

* Always carry the following if going hiking...or for a drive...: Water, Bear spray, Bug reppelent, Sunscreen.

* Bear Spray does NOT work the same way as bug reppelent. DO NOT SPRAY YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY WITH IT (unless of course you WANT to be airlifted out of the park)

* When tourists come into Yellowstone, the vast majority check the following at the gate: Common Sense, Driving Skills, Patience, Courtesy, Brains.

* There are people out there that honestly believe that Elk are either very large deer or very small moose.

* The mating call of male elk is REALLY annoying first thing in the morning.