No matter how much we talk of self love and self respect, we
will all have our moments. No human can be perfectly confident or treat
themselves perfectly every day of their life, no matter how much we try. Even
when we really, really want to be. To use myself as an example:
Last December I began having health issues, which may be either UC or Crohns. I have not gone through full diagnosis yet but I believe it to be Crohns (until tonight I was leaning more towards UC but finally found some good articles explaining the differences). Began…who am I kidding—looking back through my history I’m fairly sure I had my first major flare when I was 18. Anyway. To deal with this I have to be very careful about my diet. Several foods are big no-nos. Several of my favorite foods.On this list of foods I’m not supposed to have, the top three are Milk (and a few other dairy products, unless lactose free), caffeine, and alcohol. I say not supposed to because I fully admit I have very weak willpower when it comes to such. Take tonight: Right now there is a Diet Coke and Bacardi sitting next to me. Further down the dresser is the cup from the milkshake I had earlier. Yep, I’m a bad girl, and I have been for several days now.I’m suffering for it too, but it doesn’t fully deter me. I know I have no one to blame for my pain and the hours in the bathroom but myself.
I know that eating
these things and ignoring my body’s reactions are exactly the opposite of what
I need to be doing. We all know this when we do things like this, be it an
addiction—drugs, smoking, alcohol, food; or just something little—“I can skip
the gym today, no big deal” or “Well I know I’m hurting but if I do one more
set…”; even things like not putting makeup on or skipping a shower. We KNOW we
shouldn’t. That doesn’t stop us.
AND IT’S OK! REALLY!
I’m not saying that we should blow off these things
entirely. What I’m saying is that beating ourselves up over these little slip
ups doesn’t make them go away, or make the situation any better. Do your best
to get back on track. (I, for one, will be cutting caffeine out again as of
tomorrow. Without the coke I won’t drink the alcohol. Not a fan of plain rum!)
Use a support network (Such as the fact that I’m going to tell AJ to kind of
keep an eye on me on these things. The alcohol isn’t a problem; I can go a long
time without that. The caffeine and dairy on the other hand….)
